Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Can We Define "Fascinating" Please?

The soon-to-air "Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011" includes the following people:
Donald Trump
Katy Perry
Simon Cowell
The Kardashians
Pippa Middleton
Derek Jeter
Modern Family's Jesse Tyler and Eric Stonestreet
and 3 other's whos names haven't been leaked yet.
.........This is not a joke.
Okay.....where do I start with this one? Well, clearly Barbara Walters has full-blown dementia, is on heavy drugs, or has waited 82 years to make a joke (which isn't amusing, i'd like to add). This list is a perfect example of how sick our country is. The Kardashians are watchable to either males who enhance their daily jerk-fest by looking at Kim, or females under 13yrs of age, therefore unaware of how naive their generation is for buying in to the idea forced upon them by the media of what makes a person important. Entertaining is an acceptable title for the Kardashians, but fascinating is delusional. In the 2,798 seasons they’ve been on tv, I have watched off and on simply by default, as in, there was literally nothing else on, and their show airs on a continuous 24/7 reel on E! I’ve seen the same exact episode each time, with the exception of a different wardrobe and/or location. They conversate by saying nothing other than how “amaaaazing” something/someone is, or how every single situation is ”crazy, right?”. Whether it’s an unplanned pregnancy, a dramatic tantrum, or a simple daily papparazzi sighting, the same “that’s crazy, right?” reaction is all we are provided. Kim’s breakfast is just as “amazing” as her nephew’s birth is, & she’s pretty so she is exempt from knowing more than 2 adjectives, I suppose. Out of 8 family members (include Scott and Lamar to make it 10), not one of them is a nurse, or an engineer, or has served our country in the military. Bruce was an “amazing” athelete in his day, which got him some money, divorces, and pussy for days (not in that order but you get the point), so good for him....three decades ago. But as an adult who is studying to work in the thankless EMS world for embarrassing income, with a sister who's an engineer just like my dad, who was also a Lt.Col. in the AF, my definition of "fascinating" is based on the people around me, the goals they set, and the hard work they put into reaching those goals. Barbara Walters has a completely different definition, I guess. I don’t consider Kim’s tears over a dog she adopted for a day, or Khloe letting a bum use Kris's shower one time enough of a contribution to the world to earn a title of “Fascinating”, or anything like it.
And I won’t even touch the Katy Perry one, other than to say how much I miss the days when musically talented artists overpowered the few lucky, marketable "entertainers", who slipped through the cracks just long enough to get a one-hit wonder stuck in my head for a summer. For example, Christina Aguilera is the best female voice i’ll probably hear in my lifetime, yet an "okay-I-guess" voice, simply paired with catchy nonsense and cartoonish fashion choices, make Katy Perry “fascinating”? Alrighty. “Obnoxious” used to be….well….just “obnoxious”, whether resulting in fame or not. In the year 2011, fame is valued more than an education, a selfless act of service, treating others with general kindness, fighting a war, or anything else that requires sacrifice or dedication. Despite how easily it is obtained, the importance of fame and fortune officially transform a fool into a "fascinating" role model for younger generations, who are too young to know irrelevence on a realistic level. They then inevitably set their sites on this fantasy for their future goals and aspirations. America is so screwed.
Lastly, Donald Trump?....Really, Barb? Eeeew...on so many levels. Just.....eew.
The last three mystery people on Barbara's list better be respectable in some way, or I might have to deport myself.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Homosexual Handbags?

I would really like to know when homosexuality became a trend to straight people. I am straight, but I find it offensive when women go out of their way to make any gay man they meet “THEIR gay”, like a fucking sidekick. It’s like they think a gay man will provide them with flaming entertainment and cool factor of some kind. They go out of their way to tell anyone who will listen about “my gay and I were having lunch…” or “I was shopping on Tues with my gay…” It’s really obnoxious and of bad taste, in my opinion. I am also bothered by the Bravo "housewives" using sexual experimentation with another female as a way to get attention, or cause they think it gives them some sort of "sexy factor". If a person truely has thoughts that they are possibly bisexual or gay, then by all means-EXPLORE AWAY! And if that person experiments and decides he/she isn’t actually gay after all, that’s fine too. But society (mainly reality tv) has made a circus out of a very personal thing. I believe gay people have the right to act as flamboyant or as private about their sexuality as they wish, but when straight people begin to treat them as an accessory or use them to portray a certain image of what they think is sexy, then it has crossed the line of consideration and respect. The worst is when the person has children (for ex-Kim Zolsiak), and they expect it not to affect the kids when they wake up one day and mommy has a girlfriend, but said mommy has chosen not to explain the situation to them, then suddenly POOF! Tomorrow Mommy is straight again! If someone has children, and chooses to transition into living as a homosexual or bisexual because they are truely 100% sure that they ARE homo/bisexual, then they would/should clearly handle the situation delicately, making sure the chidren were informed, and comfortable prior to said transition. Whatever. My point is that I have no idea when a person’s homo/bisexual preference meant that they are a clown for others to “collect”, paraded around for others to see. I guess i’m not personally offended, but I would definitely not appreciate being used and made a fool of for something as personal as my sexuality. I’m actually embarrassed to be straight when I see these things. Am I being dramatic? For all I know, gay individuals have no problem with this treatment, and if so, then God bless them.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Why "Girls Only Like Guys Who Are Assholes" is the Dumbest Theory Ever

No, guys. Stop all that "Nice guys get treated like shit, taken advantage of, and cheated on by girls.", and "They really want to be treated like shit." crap. Only guys who are the wrong kind/level of "nice", and cocky assholes who just get laid a lot, say this ignorant nonsense. First off, you're only gonna get treated like shit if you let people treat you like shit, so don't put it all on us. A generalization such as this, is simply a way to group yourself into the "normal" realm of niceness, concluding you are a victim of mistreatment, by the heartless modern-day woman, who just doesn't appreciate a chivalrous gentleman anymore. Let me explain the difference between a nice guy, and the above guy's perception of "nice". Go right ahead and accept that chivalrous is dead, buried, and has no place in a world where women are independent and self-reliant, mmkay? Manners, respect, and boundaries are very much alive, and some of you don't know the difference. If you are a dick to our waiter at dinner, then I don't give a shit if you open my car door. I can pull my own chair out, and I can make it home, and inside my house just fine without the need to call you to "let you know I'm ok". If I don't call, and you assume I didn't make it there safely, what exactly are you gonna do? Blow my phone up, and that's pretty much it, right? A "nice" guy is honest, real, and makes you feel comfortable by respecting certain boundaries. The "nice" guy who gets treated like shit is trying too hard, and developes false hope by interpreting a girl's general kindness and manners as mutual feelings of chemistry, and an invitation for massive amounts of attention, which you rationalize as flattery, but really just shows us that you are lacking in the self-esteem area, and you reek of desperation. When you start calling and txting too much (which you def will), you appear to not have a life. A compliment is always nice, but if you give them constantly, and they are generic, repetitive, and over-dramatic, they become very annoying, and have that "I can't believe you're with me!" affect. It's just creepy at that point, and you force us to also think "I can't believe I'm with him.....". The more overly-amazing you insist that I am, the less special I feel (ironically). And whatever you do, NEVER point out your own flaws before I've even had a chance to see or notice them, as some kind of panicked warning. It's like you are deciding for me, that i won't like you, before I can decide for myself. How about just pretend your flaws don't exist instead of magnifying them, you moron. Guess what? I might not even notice them. And if I notice them on my own, I might not be turned off by them. All these examples are violations of personal boundaries females will not respond well to. Calling us too often, especially repeatedly if we don't call back right away, is crossing a boundary. Insisting on telling me how perfect, beautiful, and amazing I am is unrealistic, unnecessary, and makes me uncomfortable. Crossed boundary. I will end up with no respect for you, finally blowing you off so I can breath, and decide I have no choice but to ignore your "niceness" completely, no matter how many times you call, or msg me. Your final conclusion/interpretation of the situation is that you were nothing but nice to me, and I just woke up one day and decided I was done with you, and threw you out like garbage, without the respect to tell you myself. The details of your "nice"ness are irrelevent to the story, in your mind, because dumping someone for being "nice" is a shitty thing for a chick to do. You created a connection in your mind, and thought we had something that would deserve a discussion, or explanation, if ended. Too bad, so sad, that was your bad. I don't owe you a call, and you're not getting one, cause I'm smart enough to know it will end up being used as a chance to plead your case and win back the imaginary love you've dreamed up over the 3days you've known me. Sooooo....NO ASSCLOWN! Nice guys don't get fucked over and walked on. Guys who hold a stranger up on a pedestal of unattainable perfection get dropped, and it's for their own good.
Now, when it comes to the opposite end of the spectrum, you are dealing with a major misconception that cockyness is the same as confidence. Girls do not want to be treated like shit. Treating girls with disrespect and aggressive behavior will get you all the pussy you can handle, but that's not the situation or group of girls in question of the theory. Confidence, not cockyness, boys. Insulting or embarrassing a female doesn't work. Being a jerk-off to your friends isn't impressive or attractive either. How about approaching me with comfortable demeanor, as if I'm a real person, and the subtlety that suggests YOU might not be fully impressed by ME yet, but you're interested, NOT superior. Is it that hard to grasp the concept of letting a person feel however they feel? Why do you think you must either build her up, or cut her down? How bout deal with your own confidence level, and adjust it however you see fit. My confidence is fine where it is, so guage your own shit, but leave mine alone. Make me feel safe, secure, cared about, and mutually respected, but don't let me walk all over you. That's all, guys. Really. Stop being lazy with your bullshit theory, and consider striving for balance, instead of accepting your way of treating chicks as a reasonable normalcy that we are just too complicated to appreciate. I'm not perfect. Women aren't perfect. But we aren't as difficult as you pretend we are.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Things That Are Annoying Me Today

I am feeling great today, actually! The sun is shining, I got to be with my sis and mom, and I have a lot to be thankful for! Yay, right? As long as I keep the little irritants off my chest, anyway. Here are a few things that annoy me today...
1) The Casey Anthony trial. My heart breaks for her parents, man (and all others involved BESIDES Casey, and her legal team).
2) Guys who just DO NOT get IT! STILL!!! If you have to trick a girl into being alone with you, it's time to re-evaluate your life.
3) People who post on FB more than 3 or 4x per day. Especially about the same shit.
4) People who tag me in photos that i'd never care to see (the pics, not the person) (well, sometimes the person, too).
5) Mapquest Driving Directions.
6) The Skype program I have been trying to "uninstall" for 2 months now.
7) The racoon that keeps getting into my trash on the porch. Why can't you just let me be lazy and take it to the dumpster in the morning? Grrr.... Enjoy your tampon applicator dinner, you little fucker!
8) Spam Mail
9) itunes store
10) The key-maker guy at wal-mart, cause
A-I had to stand and wait while watching him take over a minute and a half to walk from 3 aisles down, into the auto dept., and around the counter.
B-He then tells me that he is "OUT" of standard keys, so i'll have to pick one of the $5.50 ones covered in sparkle-paint and rhinestones, or leopard print BS.
C-He then hit on me while making my key (and taking his sweet time, here too).
D-Almost "forgot" to give me my original back.
E-Moaned/grunted as I walked away.
11) USAA website for
A-NEVER remembering my password for me
B-Refusing my new password SEVEN TIMES before I'd entered the proper amount/number of characters/uppercase and lowercase letters/characters/symbols/all in a certain order. WHY THE FUCK don't they just post 2 or 3 lines, listing all the rules you must abide by when choosing ur password, so it doesn't take 47 tries first!
12) The dude in front of me at the gas station who left behind a puddle of ice/soda on the counter for me to set my wallet in.
13) People on dating/singles sites who
A-Don't feel the need to post a pic
B-Post a pic that is unclear/too far away to see their face accurately
C-Post the generic "snappin one of my hot "athletic" bod in the bathroom mirror, while flexing for ya, baby" Gross.
D-Post the creepy pic of them while driving their car. We're talkin' sunglasses on, seat-belt choking them, tie on goin to work, earpiece in, ZERO smile. What is this shit about, anyway?
E-Either/or post pics in which I cannot see their teeth situation (a smile), or what's under their hat.
14) Google search for ALWAYS pointing out, "bold-ing", italacizing, and mocking my mis-spellings.

THAT'S IT!!! If you are also annoyed by any/all of these things, HOLLA!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Trust Your Gut

1-direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension.
2-a fact, truth, ect., perceived in this way.
3-a keen and quick insight.

Sooo...we all have it. Not just MOTHERS. Not just WOMEN. All of us. Including myself. Mine, in my opinion, is EXTRA keen, if you will. It kicks in, and it's decision time. This is where I, personally, go wrong. Making the right decision at this point, is where I lack. Signifigantly. I know what will come of either decision, but whether I choose to ignore this or not is the hurdle in my life. I continue to surround myself with the wrong people. My mother points out that I have done this my entire life. No matter how much I love them, and/or enjoy being around them, I am in no position to ignore the influence certain types of people have on me. I can sit here and preach ALL DAY LONG about how I am my own person, and I make my own decisions (right or wrong), but I surround myself with the things/people with which I am comfortable being destructive, for the most part. Therefore, I get to keep being destructive! Yipee! NO!!! Not cool. Being self-aware, and acknowleging this doesn't make it ok, though. It doesn't fix those bad choices. In fact, it makes it worse, because it is an admittance to supreme stupidity, on my part. The theme to my life is "I KNEW BETTER!" Pa. Thetic. Now, there IS a bright side, believe it or not. I, THANK GOD, have people in my life who refuse to let me become comfortable in that state. I have my parents, bestie, sister, and ex or 2, God, and a few others from my past, who simply aren't havin' it. No way, no how. These are the people I avoid when I feel like ignoring my intuition and fucking up. Why? Cause I know I can't "fake the funk" with them. My sister, for example, will never let me forget that "I am better than the choices I make". And I sure as shit hope she's right!!! A fork in the road has been a long time coming for me, and it's a matter of do or die at this point. My faith in my intuition is what's gonna really save my ass in the coming months, and we'll all see what i'm truely made of. It's put up, or shut up, and to all those who get left behind- Good luck in life. Last November, right before Thanksgiving, I experienced something that taught me the most important lesson in life, and it is as follows:
NO ONE ON THIS EARTH WILL TAKE CARE OF ME BUT ME! My safety, well-being, and health is in no one's best interest but my own. No more trusting others to keep me safe. No more believing others' promises of what will/will not happen to me. I cannot trust anyone but MYSELF, NO MATTER WHAT!!! My safety, my fate, my future is in mine, and God's hands ONLY, and my faith and intuition will tell me what I need to know. I was brought up well, and know the difference between right and wrong. As long as I keep that judgement directed at myself, my choices, and my actions, as opposed to at others', i'll be juuuust fine. No more caring about others' feelings, and hardships above my own. I have been far too caring, accepting, and rightous to set aside my own perogative when it comes to saving others. Until I save myself, I am of no use to the people I care about, or to God to do his work. So, in conclusion, I want to say thank you to those who refuse to give up on me, and farewell to those I must leave behind. It's go time. I cannot let my feelings of shame and guilt cripple me any longer. I've done what i've done, said what i've said, and wronged who i've wronged. Nothing is a valid excuse to keep me sick. My intuition has my head clear, my Lord has my heart open, and my future has eyes on the prize.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Too Much to Ask?

Seriously? Is it TOO MUCH to ask to be left alone while I pump my gas? Just ONCE during my lifetime, I'd like to make it into the gas station to pay, out to the pump, and back into my car without having some creeper roll up on me, call me "Shawty", and proceed to solicite some vague request for a sexual encounter from me. Please, just ONE TIME, can I be exempt from this obnoxious exchange? That's all I ask. I end up just doing the pervert a favor by saving his time as follows:
A) I'm not your "shawty" or your "Boo", or anything of that nature.
B) "Sweaty Pervert-meet Personal Space. Personal Space-meet Sweaty Pervert."
C) It's none of your business whether I have a BF or not.
D) No, you are NOT "just looking for a friend". You are "looking for a friend to penetrate in 1 or more orifices", and I'm NOT that "friend".
E) Why are you STILL talking to me?
F) Hell no-you CANNOT have my number, e-mail, address, etc.
G) BTW-Thanks for insulting me by your clear assumption that I'm this easy.
H) Does this rude, unwelcome, foreward, rehearsed, invading, unoriginal, desperate approach EVER result in the encounter you're after? Do you expect me to believe that you have pulled your car up to a complete stranger, interuppted her while she's minding her own business, engaged her in any sort of conversation that actually led to a sexual exchange? Is that what really happens in this world? Are there females who are that dumb, or dare I say FLATTERED by this crap? What naive, self-asteem-cripple would even consider climbing into your car? I CALL BULLSHIT!!!
SOOOOOO, that being said.....How bout this, Prince Charming? From now on, you're gonna reel-in your testosterone and genitals before you leave home, and show a little respect for females, their privacy, and their personal space, alright? How bout you learn to read another human being's body language and overall demeanor, indicating whether small talk is appropriate and/or welcome, and if not, don't impose, got it? OR! How bout you GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, STOP EYE-RAPING ME, LET ME PUMP MY GAS IN SILENCE, AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS SO I'M NOT IN AN IRRITABLE MOOD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, MMKAY???!!!!
No? Not gonna happen anytime this century? Ok, then. From this day foreward, I will pretend to be deaf, and completely ignore you. Call me a stuck-up bitch all day long, cause I can't hear a word of it. In fact, I can't see you either. Listen, man-if I'm actually expected to believe that your "approach" works for you, then BY GOD-They gave Helen Keller a driver's license too! Can you believe that? Do you? Makes no difference to me, cause my blind/deaf/happy-ass has already made it on down the road, 100% free of your harrassment! Happy Abducting to ya!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Ok, people. Especially those of you in the dating scene. Listen carefully-NOT EVERY GUY/GIRL IS GOING TO BE INTO YOU. Hate it, but it's true, folks. Just because you were diggin your date, and was attracted to him/her, doesn't mean he/she felt the same. And guess what? Some people have manners, therefore, your date's politeness could easily get confused with the "chemistry" you think you feel. I cannot begin to count how many times I have been on a date with a guy and he point blank asks me "So, how do you feel like this date's going?". Uh....really? Why would you ask me that? Do you want the truth? Hell to the no. And I won't give it to you either. There's no way in hell that i'm gonna tell you "Actually, I'm not too attracted to you, your snaggletooth is driving me crazy, and we have nothing in common, so i'd say this date blows, so far." I (like most girls) am going to be polite and tell you that I am having a nice time, or some bullshit. SOOOO....DO NOT get all butt-hurt when I blow you off for a second date. Don't act like i'm an asshole cause I said the date was going fine, then failed to return your calls. We have all had our ego busted at some point, and ya just act pissy for a couple days, maybe get drunk, dust yourself off, and move on to the next. Maybe it's just me, but when a dude I'm into doesn't reciprocate the same vibe, I do not obssess over why. I assume either he was turned off by the way I talk (my language), or the AMOUNT that I talk, or my more masculine facial features, my laugh, WHATEVER!!! All of these qualities/characteristics seem petty, but are actually valid, if one is turned off by one of them. I mean, it doesn't rock me to the core, ya know? That being said-I have come across a few guys in my day who simply CAN NOT fathom this concept. They call, and txt, and FB, and e-mail, then call AGAIN, and repeat this cycle for months, even years! What really cracks me up is the message you get after about 3 un-returned contact attempts, where the message he leaves says something to the effect of "I'm not trying to bother you, but at this point, I'm just very worried about you. Are you ok? Just txt/call me and let me know you're alright, at least." LOL. NO YOU'RE NOT! I'm alive and well, Douchelord, and you know it! You can't trick me, Mr. Concerned! My reasoning for this entire blog is due to what I experienced last week. I went on a date with a guy from He was nice enough, but I knew right away that I wasn't into him. No attraction, I could tell he's needy, and he just seemed OFF to me. Anyway, at one point in the date he did a fucking flip-flop out of nowhere, and BOOM! His personality changed 100%. He REALLY started freakin me out, cause he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that I wouldn't spend the night at his place. On the way to my car, he began asking me what I was thinking (insert groan here), and when I told him nothing, he didn't believe me, and nagged me about it. He even let me know angrily that he'd be going to a bar after he dropped me off. Anyway, he called me after a number of times, here and there, and I blew him off as politely as possible. WELL....he txted me last week that he'd be coming through my town and wanted to see if i'd be down to get together. LUCKILY, I was out of town myself, and when I let him know this, he sounded a bit aggravated, I responded with something slightly blunt/smart-ass, and HE LOST HIS FUCKING MIND!!! He began txting me the most vile, ugly, sick, demented, disrespectful insults, one after another. For example (after like the 33rd txt he'd sent, and I called him a fool)- " I'm a fool with more money in the bank than you could snort up in ten years cunt". Uh...whaaaaah? HUH? Where did that come from? And that was one of the milder things he said! Luckily, I bartended for waaay too long, and developed a massive backbone that not only prevents me from being affected by insults like these from guys like him, it also provided me with a powerful mechanism to turn any one of these statements back into an insult toward him. It's pretty impressive, I must admit. :) I know, I know. I should take the high road and ignore people like this. It's just too much fun, when it's a situation as severe as this one was. The more he threw at me, the dumber he looked, and the more angry he got. Finally, either his head exploded, or he finally gave up. Either way, my point is-if your ego gets hurt, at least keep your dignity. If you know how to TAKE A FUCKING HINT, then you won't ever look like a desperate tool. Or a stalker. Or a LUNATIC!!! I am honestly a little bit worried that this guy will find out where I live and do something to me cause he was THAT distraught, and volatile. All I know is that if a dude wants to hurt my feelings, or make some sort of point, calling me a "cunt" or a "whore" sure as shit aint gonna do the trick. Like, that's the best you can do? If I had a dollar for every time I was called a "slut" (by guy or girl), I'd be a rich bitch. UN. ORIGINAL. If you haven't slept with me, and/or know nothing about me personally whatsoever, calling me a hoe doesn't make much sense, now does it? It's just the easiest insult to fall back on when a person can't come up with an actual reason he/she dislikes another.

And lastly-this is for all you ladies with whom i've discussed this, and who are equally annoyed by it-GUYS-DO NOT EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TXT ME "HEY"!!!!!!!! Hey? HEY WHAT, LOSER!? Speaking for myself, if you txt me "hey", you will never get a response from or speak to me ever again. I'd actually rather be called a cunt than receive "hey", via txt. LOL. It'd be slightly less annoying.
So what did we learn today, boys and girls?
1) If you like someone, but they don't like you back, it's not the end of the world.
2) Don't ask your date questions which he/she aren't in a position to answer truthfully, then use the answer you get as assurance.
3) 2 calls and/or txts without a response? Sorry sucka, move on. PLEASE!
4) Bashing someone you met once with threats and put-downs is the WRONG way to show him/her what he/she "could have had."
Happy Dating, Guys and Galls!!!